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Posts Tagged ‘being a mom’

*This post was started a few mos back.  I finally got around to finishing it.  😉

As I sit here and type I will end up getting up about 10 or so times, and I probably won’t finish this post without saving it for at least 2-3 days.  Dinner is in the process of being made, I am supervising kids doing homework, watching the baby monitor as the little one wriggles around fitfully trying to avoid her afternoon nap, doing laundry and keeping an ear out for the sounds of dogs misbehaving.  They do that a lot lately, but that’s another post entirely.

It’s cold outside and we just put up our tree.  It’s times like these when I feel very blessed to be able to be at home with my children.  Being a mom comes with some of the most complex of feelings.  You can be so incredibly thankful for the ability to be a mom, so grateful for the precious gifts that come along with motherhood; yet you can feel less-than, utterly behind in everything you do, not good enough, the most tired you’ve ever been in your life, unattractive and just plain worn out.

It’s no secret that motherhood and the art of mothering is not valued much these days.  Try explaining to your boss that you need to leave early because your child is sick, or worse yet try calling in to work when you have a sick child.  Stand in line with your children while waiting to board a flight.  Try to wrangle a screaming toddler who is having a fit in the center of the grocery store and you will feel the eyes upon you.  You can feel the loathing, the disapproval, the general dislike. It’s a common thing nowadays in our society, to look down upon having children and being a mother, much less a stay-at-home mom.  Which is in large part why our society is generally spiraling down the crapper, in my opinion.  The value needs to be out back where it belongs.   Not on the almighty dollar but on caring.  On respecting mothers for all they do rather than making them feel like second-class citizens.  How many times have we as mothers apologized to someone for something having to do with raising our children?  Your child is crying while you’re in the checkout line at the grocery store and you can hear the people behind you commenting.  People generally have an intolerance for mothers, children, mothering and motherhood in general in our society.  I wholeheartedly believe this.  I actually had a dr refuse to see me because I brought my one-month-old with me for the consult (which included no exam) and he began to twitch in his carseat and made a whimper.  The dr looked at me in exasperation, got up and said, “I can’t work like this.”  He left, instructing me to come back when I had a babysitter.

So is it any wonder why we mothers feel so worthless at times?  So unappreciated?  We are undoubtedly doing THE single most important and most difficult job there is to do, so WHY is it not seen for what it is and valued as such?  It has been said many times; how much moms would be worth $-wise if we collected a paycheck for everything we did.  How much does a Chauffeur/Personal Shopper/Personal Chef/Life Coach/Accountant/Personal Shopper/Nanny/Teacher/Manager/QC Supervisor/Housekeeper/Motivational Speaker/Nurse make?  Add all of that up (I’m sure I’ve forgotten something) and get back with me on how I’d be THE richest person on the planet.  Do I command that respect?  No.  In fact, moms end up paying far more than they will ever see in return.  We worry, we give ourselves headaches and backaches and we age far faster than we should.  We give of our bodies, our souls, our hearts.  We give everything.  That’s what moms do.  Go thank your mom.  Hell, stop any mom on the street who looks like she’s about ready to snap, and tell her she’s doing a great job.

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Oh yes, it’s going to be crazy here this week.  Not only do I have appointments every single day (except Thursday), some days I have double appointments.  Ugh.  Why do I do this to myself?  And on the week before school no less.  ((wilting))

I did manage to get most of the dogs clean and groomed this past weekend.  The husband washed Bunny (our Boxer) the week previous so she was good.  I am left with doing her nails and grooming Veda, the formerly fabulously pink Chinese Crested.  I haven’t tackled grooming her yet, as bathing her usually requires getting psyched up first.  She’s terrible in the tub.  Great with any other kind of grooming, just hideous in the tub.  You would think that after three years of baths on a regular basis she’d chill out a bit, right?  Nope.

I also have a metric ton of clothing lying around here that the kids have outgrown.  I’ve ebayed some of it, swapped some out at a nearby clothing swap store, and offered some of it online on other forums to which I belong.  The things left over need to be gone through and I need to ebay the rest of the stuff I’ve been meaning to sit down and get online (ohhhh how I dread it as it is time-consuming) and then we are donating the rest.

There is also the matter of putting away the new clothes that I got in trade for the baby’s old clothes, as they’ve been sitting in the nursery for about a week now as I’ve not had the time to sit and go through them, arrange them by size and season and then properly put them away.

Then there’s a turtle tank in need of cleaning, lots of laundry to be done, gotta get a jump on dinner so that something can be thawed out in time and gosh darn it the floors in here reeeallly need to be mopped.  I managed to sweep them this morning, but with all the kids and dogs around here, they need some attention.  Thank goodness for tile is all I can say.

Then there’s the matter of registering the older child for school and getting his supplies.  New school, whole new land for my oldest.  They do not give the supply list until the day of registration so that day will be consumed with school matters.  The thought of shopping with the two older children just makes me want to become an alcoholic so that I can dull the pain and be blissfully unaware.  I swear I have never in all my life seen two children who argue and gripe at each other more than those boys do.   I used to laugh at my sister when she would call various family members to sit with her girls as she went shopping.  She would tell me all the time there was no way she would put herself through that hell again.  I found it amusing then.

That was before I had children of my own.

Then there’s the before-school haircuts.  Oh yes, so much fun.  Everyone goes at once because I just don’t have the time to split everyone up, especially this week.  Always good for a headache and my weekly dose of embarrassment as one or both of the kids usually says something totally inappropriate.

I love my children, don’t get me wrong.  But I’m a realist.   They are going to say embarrassing things, they are going to misbehave in public, they’re going to act like unruly monkeys sometimes.  They’re kids.  I get that.  And moms have to get it all out or I honestly believe our heads will explode and we will split off into three of four different personalities.  It’s survival of the fittest in Mom Land, folks, and I’m right in the thick of it this week.

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We were having a family gathering not long ago and my middle child was bouncing around and upon be-bopping past his Aunt, let one rip.  Now it goes without saying that kids will reach that magical age where farts are funny (trust me, it was long before Kindergarten), and will continue to think they’re funny no matter how many times you tell them otherwise.  So upon releasing his little gift, without missing a beat he says, “Oops, my bad.”

o_O

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